Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
