Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
