I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
