I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
