Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
