I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
