So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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