I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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