She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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