I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
