i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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