cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
