Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
God, I missed his penis.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
