Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize