What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
