Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too high and old for this...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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