Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
