Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
