Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
