I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
