guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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