Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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