i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
