so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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