is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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