So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
