The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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