there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What a dumb baby whore.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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