R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize