I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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