I want to walk on stilts...naked
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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