Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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