Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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