Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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