just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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