when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
