This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need a beard to bite.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
