worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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