Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
