i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
