Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
