Quick, to the slutcave!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
