I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
