stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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