if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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