all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
