You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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