New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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