I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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