shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
