He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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