That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
