Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
