Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
