True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
