so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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