I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize