So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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