So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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