If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
