Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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