just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
