i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
