I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize