just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think i got beer on your cat.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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