i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
