I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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