If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
